While reading the comments accompanying the article What Single Women Can Learn From Michelle, I realized that black men and women really are worlds apart..it's a wrap.
Case in point :
sharmaine
73
OK - The title of this article alone annoys me. Black women really are not
that shallow. Give me a break... I don't rule out the big eared broke guy.
Barak Obama was a pretty safe bet. He was a Harvard educated LAWYER, with
obvious drive and ambition when Michelle met him. Not that Michelle Obama needs
any man to support her or be successful She is successful in her own right and
could have chosen to marry a less successful man if she wanted.
So it's not the big eared broke guys that smart women like Michelle (and I'd
like to include myself) are ruling out. It's the broke guys with NO job, NO
ambition, and NO education. Those three factors are key for me. When I met my
husband to be, we were both broke, but we both had college educations and a
job. Now I am a lawyer and he is a successful well paid Technology Director, and
a good father. My cousin on the other hand is dating some loser who doesn't
have a job, has a high school education, and is constantly asking her for
money. That's the guy I don't even consider. Oh and he has a kid! You just
can't expect someone like that to be responsible. Guys if you are reading this,
and it pisses you off. GOOD! Get off your asses! I actually dumped a guy who
was living at home with his Mom, and had two kids and only a part-time job with
no plans to change anything. He badgered me until I told him why I was dumping
him and then had the nerve to get mad. No I do not want to date a 30 year old
guy, who lives at home with his Mom and has two kids, no education, no car, a
low paying job and no plans to improve himself anytime soon. Bye!
My rule of thumb is, be as successful if not more than me, or have the drive
to become a success. Who cares about the big ears. In my opinion, your degree
of handsomeness is directly proportionate to your ability to hold down a job
and even more so if you can get yourself a college degree. Looks are important
but no one is perfect and I am willing to over look a bad set of ears and bird
legs for a Harvard educated lawyer. But you don't even need all that. How about
a college degree, from a mediocre state school, in something like, accounting?
Even a trade school! Be a welder! Work with your hands! Any of that would be
wonderful and would definitely make any moderately decent looking guy, possible
marriage material.
Posted: Saturday, June 13, 2009
VS.
CilVine
I agree largely with the article, yet am a little disappointed to read the
responses of a few people.
I am a black male, who has a fair amount of black female friends, ALMOST all
of whom are hard-working, earning-their-own-money, sensible ladies. The thing
is, they don't have any fancy degrees and lofty corporate jobs, but they are
NEVER short of suitors, both black and white. Whats more, half of them are
married to black men and the rest are in serious all-black relationships.
Professional black women who think that they deserve an angel for a husband
best go to heaven, because there aren't any angels here on earth. Heavens have
mercy! even they are not angels themselves, so you can be sure that they would
return empty handed.
If you don't want a broke-ass black man who has an annoying swagger, don't
complain about why black men are marrying white women when a white woman takes
and makes a home with him. You don't want him, and you don't want him to be
with another woman? C'mon, get real!
I, fortunately, am ruggedly handsome and have a gorgeous body, but don't
have a degree, although I do have an interesting set of college diplomas, and
other qualifications. I also have properties and am now an entreprenuer. Some
professional black women used to overlook me because I wasn't
"educated"(degree), only to be surprised later on when they bumped
into my savant-accent, portfolio, and gentlemanly attitude. In any case, I
don't flaunt what I have, and tended to keep it hidden whenever I was suiting.
They would usually then try to huddle up or start flirting, but for me, it
would be a little too late. Professional or Get-up-off-your-ass black men are
not interested in women who are attracted to what they are. They want someone
who is attracted to who they are. I know of a number of professional,
successful black men who have settled down with white women because they don't
want to be reminded of what they are in a relationship. Other professional
black men have settled down with non-professional black women who are trying
their best. In the past I was never interested in dating white women simply
because they were white(That was when I was a short-sighted racist). I used to
criticize my black male friends for settling down with white women, until, I
found out that its not about the skin but about connection and personality. I
am now with a gorgeous white lady, and I didn't get her because she was white.
We just bumped into each other, talked, and clicked. I met her before I had
started my business projects and bought a holiday property. I was a broke-ass
black man, and she didn't care about that, she locked into my qualities as a
person and made her decision from there. She was already a professional
lady(Phsycologist) when I met her. Even though, she earned more than I did, I
could still look after myself and didn't need her financial backing to get
somewhere. I do think that her encouragement helped and made it easier for me,
though.
Black women are also dating and marrying white men, although not at as
massive a rate as black men to white women, but they are still complaining. If
black men aren't good enough, marry the other guys. See if that satisfies your
desire for perfection. There seems to be an under-current of hurt and
I-know-it-all pride within a section of black women, and they need to get over
it. If black men are the problem, why are all the other women, white, yellow (I
even know of black men marrying traditional Indian women), red, and pink
scrambling to take them? I have lost count of how many times I have been
approached by non-black women who are serious about settling down.
This Black women thing about "aiming higher" is utter crap, they
are using it as an excuse for their own insecurities. Would you rather marry
Jesus the carpenter's son or a Sadducee from the learner's guild? think about
it. If your criterion is based on material and academic stature you are one sad
woman. Love and marital contentment are a SOUL thing. And that is something
That Jennee Desmond-Harris has managed to point out. And c'mon, Michelle Obama
is alright, but she's no model either, yet we want to concentrate on the
minutest of details about black men like Barack.
I want to make it very clear, there is no way I can ever not like or love my
Black sisters, for Pete's sake a black sister gave birth to me, and you know
how black men love their mothers! However, that is no excuse for a black sister
to think that I have to be perfect before she takes me, because heavens she
ain't perfect either! And if I know that I cannot be perfect then I will go out
and marry someone who UNDERSTANDS that. Even if she is white. Some professional
black women don't understand that love is not a professional thing. Men
understand that. You will find a wealthy man esconcing a poor cleaner lady
because its all about the person not the profession, and thats where they are
losing out, the professional men aren't looking for the same thing.
Posted: Saturday, June 13, 2009
Source
A mess.....................................leave it up to some folks to turn a Harvard educated lawyer with a PLAN for his future into the 'dust bowl man' a.k.a, the "brotha" Michelle "helped out" and "gave a chance"...SMH.
